Before we get started with our topic for this week, here's a friendly reminder from Elmo's dad:
Side note: have you seen some of the videos Sesame Street is coming out with? Some great stuff is happening over on their YouTube channel!
Ok, now on to our regularly scheduled programming...
Today we're going to talk about ways to continue to build on and nurture your relationship with your child. Same as last week when we spoke about self-care during the COVID-19 pandemic, these relationship building activities do not have to be glamorous or big productions to show love. When going through this list, what feels like something that you can reasonably sprinkle throughout your day to give some quality time to each other? You may find that being proactive by including some of these moments in your day will be especially helpful during times of crisis when children are feeling unsettled or more emotional.
Easy to integrate games: Early on in my career, I was introduced to something called Theraplay. It is a lovely therapeutic approach that focuses on building and supporting parent/child attachment. I have found that many of the games they play are simple ways to connect with children throughout the day.
Here are some of my favorites that can be done with materials found around the house:
Cotton ball blow: For this activity all you need is a cotton ball or craft puffball. Take a seat in front of your child and ask them to make a little basket with their hands. After they've done that, take turns blowing the cotton ball into each other's hands. You can also do this activity with a feather if you have one handy. I've found that this activity is helpful when kids are feeling extra excited and wiggly to help them self-regulate and learn to take deep breaths. You can usually find me with a puffball in my back pocket just for those wiggly moments.
Peanut butter and jelly: You don't need any extra materials for this one! For this activity you will say the words "peanut butter" in a funny/different way each time and ask your child to say "jelly" in the same funny/different way. Kids think this game is hilarious. You'll find that you both will end up cracking up as you try to find other creative ways to say peanut butter and jelly.
Face noises: This activity doesn't require any extra materials either and is wonderful way to create connection. To make face noises all you have to do is say, "Let's see what noise your (name face body part) makes!" Then make a silly noise after tugging on their ear, nose, or other body part on their face. I always like to act shocked after hearing the silly noise. Kids love hearing all of the silly noises their body parts are "making" and helps provide little moments of attention and focus.
One-on-one play time: Another wonderful way to create connection with your child is to set aside 20-30 minutes a day (or at least once per week) for undivided child-led play time. You can make this part of your child's schedule or routine so they know that even though they can't get your undivided attention during your Zoom meeting, they can get it during their special play time. You may want to set a timer and let your child know beforehand that when the timer goes off it will be time for you to go back to work, cook dinner, etc.
During this play time, you are the follower and your child is the leader. They get to make the decisions about what to play and the direction the play takes. Challenge yourself to describe what your child is doing and verbalize what feelings you're seeing them express in a non-questioning or judging way. In the play therapy world this is called tracking and reflecting. This special play time provides a chance to bond on your child's level and will give you a glimpse into how your child views their world.
Mindfulness moments: I love to integrate mindfulness moments with my students and clients. Here are some ways I practice this with my students:
Pretend to blow bubbles and watch them fall. When I'm trying to slow down my toddlers, I've found that pretending to blow bubbles and allowing my hand to slowly fall to my side while "watching" the bubbles fall is more calming than blowing real bubbles.
Have your child pretend to blow out candles on your hand.
Challenge your child to focus, listen, and name things they are hearing in their environment.
Practice taking deep breaths and make it fun by using different animal noises (i.e. take a deep breath in through the nose and roar like a lion when breathing out through the mouth).
I'm creating a course that builds on these activities and goes deeper into how to strengthen the parent/child bond. Be sure to sign up for my newsletter at onecommunitycoaching.com to get more information about it when the course becomes available.
I'd love to hear how you integrate some of these activities into your life this week. Drop a comment below or send me an email to kristina@sflmft.com. I'd love to hear from you!
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